








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 427 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 280 matches | ||
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5940 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3842 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5394 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5239 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,046,310 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 344 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRaGPO TuRBO | 56% | 90 |
| #2 | Nico Schulz | 54% | 182 |
| #3 | t11er | 54% | 46 |
| #4 | Schnelle9 | 53% | 126 |
| #5 | SHoCKer | 52% | 324 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SHoCKer | 52% | 324 |
| #6 | LucioLoco | 50% | 48 |
| #7 | ГномХардбассер | 50% | 190 |
| #8 | Baihu | 49% | 57 |
| #9 | Szmyton | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHoCKer | 14 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Schnelle9 | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Nico Schulz | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | DRaGPO TuRBO | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | ГномХардбассер | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHoCKer | 1829 | 0.26 | 45 min |
| #2 | ГномХардбассер | 693 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #3 | Schnelle9 | 483 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | Nico Schulz | 418 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Baihu | 163 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHoCKer | +2.82 | 77 | 72 |
| #2 | Schnelle9 | +1.30 | 63 | 71 |
| #3 | LucioLoco | +1.12 | 74 | 56 |
| #4 | Nico Schulz | +0.79 | 74 | 61 |
| #5 | ГномХардбассер | +0.61 | 58 | 72 |





