








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 261 matches | ||
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4952 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6297 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5806 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4698 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3706 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $960,312 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t11er | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | hsshsj9 | 54% | 182 |
| #3 | SHoCKer | 54% | 214 |
| #4 | DRaGPO TuRBO | 53% | 72 |
| #5 | Schnelle9 | 50% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SHoCKer | 54% | 214 |
| #4 | DRaGPO TuRBO | 53% | 72 |
| #5 | Schnelle9 | 50% | 133 |
| #6 | ГномХардбассер | 47% | 142 |
| #7 | Baihu | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hsshsj9 | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | SHoCKer | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | ГномХардбассер | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | DRaGPO TuRBO | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Schnelle9 | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHoCKer | 1151 | 0.25 | 31 min |
| #2 | hsshsj9 | 689 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #3 | ГномХардбассер | 532 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #4 | Schnelle9 | 515 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #5 | DRaGPO TuRBO | 107 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHoCKer | +2.33 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | Schnelle9 | +1.25 | 66 | 71 |
| #3 | Nico Schulz | +0.75 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | ГномХардбассер | +0.37 | 56 | 71 |
| #5 | hsshsj9 | -0.58 | 51 | 59 |





