








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 904 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1310 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 901 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1223 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $499,408 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zoraa08 | 50% | 68 |
| #2 | LPlayD👌 | 49% | 89 |
| #3 | HavicseC_Zero | 48% | 48 |
| #4 | Josef | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zoraa08 | 50% | 68 |
| #2 | LPlayD👌 | 49% | 89 |
| #3 | HavicseC_Zero | 48% | 48 |
| #4 | Josef | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LPlayD👌 | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | zoraa08 | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Josef | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HavicseC_Zero | 166 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | LPlayD👌 | 120 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | zoraa08 | 70 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Josef | 21 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josef | +5.38 | 72 | 53 |
| #2 | zoraa08 | +1.79 | 45 | 29 |
| #3 | LPlayD👌 | +0.75 | 48 | 29 |
| #4 | HavicseC_Zero | -1.57 | 21 | 46 |
| #5 | Detective Sato | -1.61 | 18 | 45 |





