








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 109 matches | ||
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1997 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2198 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1980 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2024 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $830,421 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 413 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barcotierra | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Ellux12 | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | :D BenQ | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Mymmeli | 49% | 71 |
| #5 | eeppa | 49% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | eeppa | 49% | 57 |
| #6 | Umppu Johe | 48% | 27 |
| #7 | Valloillee | 46% | 46 |
| #8 | ReiskaPappa | 45% | 143 |
| #9 | PrinceGetelev | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReiskaPappa | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | eeppa | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Umppu Johe | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Barcotierra | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReiskaPappa | 290 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | eeppa | 130 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | PrinceGetelev | 112 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mymmeli | 92 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Valloillee | 91 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReiskaPappa | +1.47 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | Umppu Johe | +0.91 | 67 | 63 |
| #3 | Mymmeli | +0.78 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | eeppa | +0.43 | 82 | 64 |
| #5 | PrinceGetelev | +0.24 | 48 | 72 |





