








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1906 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1685 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1854 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1396 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $750,695 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | vessa | 49% | 57 |
| #5 | ReiskaPappa | 49% | 157 |
| #6 | Mymmeli | 48% | 112 |
| #7 | PrinceGetelev | 45% | 77 |
| #8 | Valloillee | 45% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valloillee | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Umppu Johe | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Barcotierra | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | ReiskaPappa | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Mymmeli | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReiskaPappa | 358 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | PrinceGetelev | 224 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Valloillee | 203 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Mymmeli | 137 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Barcotierra | 101 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Umppu Johe | +1.79 | 68 | 63 |
| #2 | ReiskaPappa | +1.03 | 79 | 71 |
| #3 | Mymmeli | +0.79 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | eeppa | +0.75 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | PrinceGetelev | -0.42 | 49 | 73 |





