










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2075 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,043 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3902 | 55% |
| Smokes | 923 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 693 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1525 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $636,308 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 711 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H0ward | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | rinzler | 59% | 59 |
| #3 | NoMoneyHere | 54% | 150 |
| #4 | cTonini | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | Shiflomeister | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H0ward | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | rinzler | 59% | 59 |
| #3 | NoMoneyHere | 54% | 150 |
| #4 | cTonini | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | Shiflomeister | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoMoneyHere | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | rinzler | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | cTonini | 5 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | H0ward | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Shiflomeister | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoMoneyHere | 520 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | rinzler | 130 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | cTonini | 96 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | H0ward | 87 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Shiflomeister | 73 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoMoneyHere | +1.98 | 62 | 73 |
| #2 | Shiflomeister | +1.48 | 59 | 68 |
| #3 | H0ward | +1.19 | 75 | 56 |
| #4 | rinzler | +0.56 | 88 | 67 |
| #5 | NEWSNEWSNEWSNEWSNEWSNEWS | +0.15 | 74 | 62 |





