








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 792 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 154 | 19% |
| Smokes | 322 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 138 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 178 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $129,208 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vahel joppab | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Wavey DeimC | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Trimurdev | 45% | 103 |
| #4 | Alar Karis Isiklikult | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | 43/Allirejuicer | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vahel joppab | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Wavey DeimC | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Trimurdev | 45% | 103 |
| #4 | Alar Karis Isiklikult | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | 43/Allirejuicer | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vahel joppab | 13 | 0.0321 |
| #2 | Trimurdev | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Wavey DeimC | 9 | 0.0276 |
| #4 | 43/Allirejuicer | 2 | 0.0140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trimurdev | 287 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | 43/Allirejuicer | 32 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #3 | vahel joppab | 30 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Wavey DeimC | 8 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Alar Karis Isiklikult | 8 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alar Karis Isiklikult | +5.44 | 44 | 48 |
| #2 | Wavey DeimC | +4.65 | 77 | 40 |
| #3 | Trimurdev | +2.00 | 36 | 59 |
| #4 | vahel joppab | +0.77 | 75 | 37 |
| #5 | 43/Allirejuicer | +0.74 | 54 | 38 |





