








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2088 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4164 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3535 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1975 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2959 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $400,085 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiko | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | JuGe | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Samael | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Rai | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | ALXD | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiko | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | JuGe | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Samael | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Rai | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | ALXD | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samael | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | JuGe | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | ALXD | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Rai | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samael | 72 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Rai | 68 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | ALXD | 38 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kiko | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | JuGe | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samael | +1.32 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | jm | +1.27 | 66 | 69 |
| #3 | JuGe | +1.04 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | ALXD | +0.61 | 76 | 67 |
| #5 | Kiko | -0.20 | 61 | 64 |





