








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 38 | 12% |
| Smokes | 46 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 141 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 98 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $151,883 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | icy- yaK | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Eep! | 43% | 42 |
| #3 | Owl | 41% | 17 |
| #4 | Sir_Briz_IV | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | >-IAMdeliriouss-Chin-->(T0x1c) | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cake | 3 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | icy- yaK | 3 | 0.0319 |
| #3 | Eep! | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Owl | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | >-IAMdeliriouss-Chin-->(T0x1c) | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Owl | +3.84 | 84 | 59 |
| #2 | icy- yaK | +3.01 | 64 | 55 |
| #3 | Eep! | +0.72 | 47 | 36 |
| #4 | Cake | +0.01 | 69 | 50 |
| #5 | >-IAMdeliriouss-Chin-->(T0x1c) | -0.91 | 66 | 52 |





