








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 985 | 28% |
| Smokes | 860 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1000 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 730 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $736,674 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 558 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Owl | 54% | 90 |
| #2 | Kareivukas | 49% | 43 |
| #3 | icy- yaK | 43% | 60 |
| #4 | Reku | 43% | 42 |
| #5 | >-IAMdeliriouss-Chin-->(T0x1c) | 41% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cake | 30 | 0.0159 |
| #2 | Owl | 17 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | icy- yaK | 10 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | >-IAMdeliriouss-Chin-->(T0x1c) | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Sir_Briz_IV | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Owl | +6.13 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | icy- yaK | +3.05 | 86 | 62 |
| #3 | Kareivukas | +2.23 | 56 | 52 |
| #4 | Eep! | -0.44 | 50 | 34 |
| #5 | Cake | -0.55 | 72 | 46 |





