








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2408 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1728 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1397 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2057 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 659 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $836,038 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pimpizdis | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | ✞ . $ U I C I D E . ✞ | 54% | 72 |
| #3 | M1KU | 54% | 56 |
| #4 | IMoveBackwardsWithSpacebar | 49% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pimpizdis | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | ✞ . $ U I C I D E . ✞ | 54% | 72 |
| #3 | M1KU | 54% | 56 |
| #4 | IMoveBackwardsWithSpacebar | 49% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IMoveBackwardsWithSpacebar | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ✞ . $ U I C I D E . ✞ | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | pimpizdis | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | M1KU | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IMoveBackwardsWithSpacebar | 498 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | ✞ . $ U I C I D E . ✞ | 210 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | pimpizdis | 142 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | M1KU | 83 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞ . $ U I C I D E . ✞ | +4.29 | 86 | 56 |
| #2 | M1KU | +1.36 | 54 | 60 |
| #3 | Es nemāku spēlēt | -0.07 | 61 | 46 |
| #4 | pimpizdis | -0.15 | 54 | 65 |
| #5 | IMoveBackwardsWithSpacebar | -3.23 | 16 | 38 |





