








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 572 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2179 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1906 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1325 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2485 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $362,421 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 422 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞ . $ U I C I D E . ✞ | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | Es nemāku spēlēt | 54% | 56 |
| #3 | IMoveBackwardsWithSpacebar | 48% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞ . $ U I C I D E . ✞ | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | Es nemāku spēlēt | 54% | 56 |
| #3 | IMoveBackwardsWithSpacebar | 48% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IMoveBackwardsWithSpacebar | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Es nemāku spēlēt | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | ✞ . $ U I C I D E . ✞ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IMoveBackwardsWithSpacebar | 289 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Es nemāku spēlēt | 102 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✞ . $ U I C I D E . ✞ | 57 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞ . $ U I C I D E . ✞ | +5.93 | 89 | 49 |
| #2 | M1KU | +1.57 | 56 | 62 |
| #3 | Es nemāku spēlēt | -0.84 | 59 | 49 |
| #4 | IMoveBackwardsWithSpacebar | -1.64 | 21 | 52 |





