








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 695 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 276 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 148 matches | ||
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,344 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2176 | 11% |
| Smokes | 4860 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7008 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 6300 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,930,752 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pittah | 14 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Conk3R | 13 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Gullpung (★) Fade | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Rayon | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | BOT - Summer4K | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gullpung (★) Fade | 268 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | niklas | 236 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | Rayon | 236 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Pittah | 139 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #5 | Conk3R | 116 | 0.04 | 4 min |





