








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 641 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 202 matches | ||
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,612 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1111 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2947 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4134 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 2420 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,175,918 of utility $256 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 456 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Conk3R | 18 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Gullpung (★) Fade | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Eivind | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | niklas | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Gneldre-Pibå | 5 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gullpung (★) Fade | 294 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | niklas | 276 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | Eivind | 249 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #4 | Rayon | 215 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Conk3R | 198 | 0.03 | 7 min |





