








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 751 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,257 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 834 | 26% |
| Smokes | 814 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 927 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 682 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $610,604 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✿❀ Skocte mi na k0k0t ❀ | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | ✨❤️LOWATÝ ČÁWO❤️✨ | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | OWNER OF YOUR FAMILY | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | Thomiik | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | ❟❛❟ ThOuMeN ❟❛❟ | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ❟❛❟ ThOuMeN ❟❛❟ | 53% | 15 |
| #6 | P O S E I D O N B E Č V Y | 47% | 53 |
| #7 | GhuliŠh | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | Alvineer | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | ♅ SPERMINATOR ♅ | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OWNER OF YOUR FAMILY | 6 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Thomiik | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | ♅ SPERMINATOR ♅ | 2 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | P O S E I D O N B E Č V Y | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | ❟❛❟ ThOuMeN ❟❛❟ | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OWNER OF YOUR FAMILY | 94 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | P O S E I D O N B E Č V Y | 68 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Thomiik | 57 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | GhuliŠh | 43 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | ❟❛❟ ThOuMeN ❟❛❟ | 24 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OWNER OF YOUR FAMILY | +4.52 | 61 | 61 |
| #2 | Alvineer | +2.30 | 58 | 67 |
| #3 | ❟❛❟ ThOuMeN ❟❛❟ | +0.80 | 76 | 62 |
| #4 | ♅ SPERMINATOR ♅ | +0.42 | 38 | 28 |
| #5 | P O S E I D O N B E Č V Y | +0.32 | 50 | 53 |





