








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 263 | 11% |
| Smokes | 853 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1093 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 201 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,609 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PROFESSORI_VENNI | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | hokka | 51% | 45 |
| #3 | Sigma Zestyca | 37% | 110 |
| #4 | paakerinnelli sigma | 37% | 121 |
| #5 | PROFESSORI_VENNI | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | paakerinnelli sigma | 37% | 121 |
| #5 | PROFESSORI_VENNI | 36% | 25 |
| #6 | PROFESSORI SIGMA | 23% | 13 |
| #7 | Osmando81 | 19% | 26 |
| #8 | Tex Willer | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PROFESSORI_VENNI | 16 | 0.0352 |
| #2 | paakerinnelli sigma | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Sigma Zestyca | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | hokka | 7 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | PROFESSORI SIGMA | 7 | 0.0272 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigma Zestyca | 53 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #2 | PROFESSORI_VENNI | 48 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | paakerinnelli sigma | 39 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | PROFESSORI_VENNI | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | hokka | 30 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PROFESSORI_VENNI | +3.84 | 76 | 41 |
| #2 | Tex Willer | +2.97 | 59 | 24 |
| #3 | hokka | +2.47 | 47 | 38 |
| #4 | Sigma Zestyca | -0.49 | 34 | 29 |
| #5 | PROFESSORI_VENNI | -0.81 | 43 | 50 |





