








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 413 | 16% |
| Smokes | 663 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 837 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 705 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $673,175 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kit Carson | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Teurastaja66 | 50% | 58 |
| #3 | Jewbacca | 48% | 83 |
| #4 | azzek | 29% | 17 |
| #5 | Tex Willer | 20% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Teurastaja66 | 50% | 58 |
| #3 | Jewbacca | 48% | 83 |
| #4 | azzek | 29% | 17 |
| #5 | Tex Willer | 20% | 25 |
| #6 | Onz220 (SIGMA) | 19% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jewbacca | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Teurastaja66 | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | azzek | 2 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jewbacca | 382 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #2 | Teurastaja66 | 101 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | azzek | 29 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kit Carson | 13 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Tex Willer | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kit Carson | +3.54 | 77 | 51 |
| #2 | Tex Willer | +2.71 | 60 | 33 |
| #3 | azzek | +0.77 | 41 | 35 |
| #4 | Jewbacca | -0.38 | 32 | 55 |
| #5 | Osmando81 | -0.44 | 41 | 31 |





