










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
560 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,443 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 180 | 12% |
| Smokes | 589 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 292 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 382 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $708,894 of utility $295 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 334 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kisuke | 37% | 99 |
| #2 | El Capitano | 37% | 49 |
| #3 | ǝıpooɥ ɐp ʇıʍ ǝıƃooq | 33% | 78 |
| #4 | Scooter ™ | 30% | 91 |
| #5 | DylanKaizen | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kisuke | 37% | 99 |
| #2 | El Capitano | 37% | 49 |
| #3 | ǝıpooɥ ɐp ʇıʍ ǝıƃooq | 33% | 78 |
| #4 | Scooter ™ | 30% | 91 |
| #5 | DylanKaizen | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Capitano | 7 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | kisuke | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Scooter ™ | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ǝıpooɥ ɐp ʇıʍ ǝıƃooq | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scooter ™ | 179 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | ǝıpooɥ ɐp ʇıʍ ǝıƃooq | 133 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | kisuke | 95 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | El Capitano | 38 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | DylanKaizen | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DylanKaizen | +0.59 | 41 | 51 |
| #2 | kisuke | -0.54 | 35 | 30 |
| #3 | powershell.exe | -0.73 | 28 | 25 |
| #4 | ǝıpooɥ ɐp ʇıʍ ǝıƃooq | -1.37 | 24 | 55 |
| #5 | Scooter ™ | -1.94 | 39 | 45 |





