








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 984 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5567 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3305 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4262 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4167 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,072,966 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 708 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | 井盖大王 | 49% | 78 |
| #13 | oto | 48% | 33 |
| #14 | ikun | 46% | 28 |
| #15 | 💞❤Traveler❤💞 | 43% | 30 |
| #16 | 巴巴托斯干点正事吧! | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 良民 | 692 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #2 | wuchen | 387 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | 井盖大王 | 352 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #4 | 跟着水浪 | 178 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | 我是不適要改一下名字 | 160 | 0.17 | 3 min |





