








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 643 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 384 matches | ||
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,483 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3138 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3958 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2478 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3909 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,998,610 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Plan B | 50% | 128 |
| #6 | Master mantis | 48% | 108 |
| #7 | mufa | 47% | 45 |
| #8 | Danny | 46% | 46 |
| #9 | - | 42% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Master mantis | 18 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | mufa | 14 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | Danny | 14 | 0.0147 |
| #4 | Plan B | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | tsR_ | 6 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plan B | 271 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Danny | 244 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | - | 235 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | mufa | 197 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Master mantis | 156 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mufa | +3.80 | 64 | 66 |
| #2 | Danny | +3.43 | 79 | 57 |
| #3 | den1gxz | +2.31 | 59 | 50 |
| #4 | tsR_ | +1.96 | 61 | 57 |
| #5 | Master mantis | +1.90 | 73 | 43 |





