








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 414 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2024 | 13% |
| Smokes | 4378 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4848 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4338 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,116,103 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 356 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ashes | 53% | 85 |
| #2 | Lana in Pyjamas | 51% | 334 |
| #3 | The Drengr | 51% | 83 |
| #4 | Z E L E T E | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | Azux Lapounie | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | The Drengr | 51% | 83 |
| #4 | Z E L E T E | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | Azux Lapounie | 46% | 28 |
| #6 | GenLegend | 46% | 39 |
| #7 | Lew_rd | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lana in Pyjamas | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Ashes | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | GenLegend | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Azux Lapounie | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lana in Pyjamas | 966 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #2 | Ashes | 240 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | The Drengr | 118 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Azux Lapounie | 89 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | GenLegend | 34 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azux Lapounie | +2.54 | 61 | 68 |
| #2 | The Drengr | +0.69 | 76 | 51 |
| #3 | Ashes | +0.47 | 68 | 63 |
| #4 | GenLegend | +0.47 | 49 | 56 |
| #5 | Scr3wball | +0.24 | 53 | 58 |





