








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 281 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,807 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 715 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1499 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2321 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1272 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $740,508 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bao | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | Small kid | 53% | 110 |
| #3 | CabbaCAT | 45% | 38 |
| #4 | WhereU | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | patrick | 33% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bao | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | Small kid | 53% | 110 |
| #3 | CabbaCAT | 45% | 38 |
| #4 | WhereU | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | patrick | 33% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bao | 13 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | patrick | 8 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Small kid | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | WhereU | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | CabbaCAT | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | patrick | 72 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | Small kid | 40 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | WhereU | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bao | 22 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | CabbaCAT | 10 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhereU | +0.00 | 56 | 30 |
| #2 | Barbie | -0.47 | 46 | 35 |
| #3 | Bao | -0.94 | 48 | 34 |
| #4 | CabbaCAT | -1.64 | 44 | 31 |
| #5 | patrick | -2.62 | 13 | 36 |





