








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
948 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1448 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1233 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1277 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 886 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $184,571 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joshed | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | Akvarko | 40% | 20 |
| #3 | SpaghettiiQ | 38% | 52 |
| #4 | Milada Horakova | 25% | 24 |
| #5 | وحش | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joshed | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | Akvarko | 40% | 20 |
| #3 | SpaghettiiQ | 38% | 52 |
| #4 | Milada Horakova | 25% | 24 |
| #5 | وحش | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpaghettiiQ | 15 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | Milada Horakova | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Akvarko | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | وحش | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpaghettiiQ | 97 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | joshed | 47 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | وحش | 33 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | Akvarko | 8 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joshed | +2.66 | 68 | 58 |
| #2 | Akvarko | +2.15 | 50 | 44 |
| #3 | Franz Kafka | +1.13 | 59 | 65 |
| #4 | SpaghettiiQ | -0.27 | 38 | 33 |
| #5 | Milada Horakova | -5.52 | 14 | 3 |





