








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1061 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,932 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1099 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1341 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1382 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1110 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $597,889 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mokonsan | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | ares | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Sir Frostfinger ツ | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | BuSteD | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | LittleDeadli | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | NeazY | 48% | 63 |
| #8 | Pioscope | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | New | 46% | 61 |
| #10 | Ʀichtig Angry | 43% | 35 |
| #11 | n3matZ | 37% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | New | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | n3matZ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Ʀichtig Angry | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | ares | 2 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | BuSteD | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | New | 184 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Ʀichtig Angry | 102 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Chillex | 79 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | n3matZ | 73 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | NeazY | 62 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ares | +2.91 | 64 | 50 |
| #2 | BuSteD | +1.51 | 48 | 66 |
| #3 | Chillex | +1.35 | 55 | 76 |
| #4 | Sir Frostfinger ツ | +0.65 | 46 | 51 |
| #5 | New | +0.31 | 63 | 81 |





