








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 386 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,790 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2039 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2027 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1678 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2046 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,008,302 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pi | 49% | 98 |
| #2 | Johnson Baby | 46% | 39 |
| #3 | HoangUltra | 39% | 175 |
| #4 | Lecatox | 39% | 23 |
| #5 | asdfsdaf | 30% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Johnson Baby | 46% | 39 |
| #3 | HoangUltra | 39% | 175 |
| #4 | Lecatox | 39% | 23 |
| #5 | asdfsdaf | 30% | 54 |
| #6 | YourMom | 25% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnson Baby | 15 | 0.0197 |
| #2 | HoangUltra | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | pi | 12 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Lecatox | 4 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | asdfsdaf | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HoangUltra | 506 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | asdfsdaf | 177 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Johnson Baby | 147 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lecatox | 133 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #5 | pi | 125 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnson Baby | +4.70 | 83 | 51 |
| #2 | pi | +2.94 | 66 | 46 |
| #3 | Lecatox | +0.72 | 68 | 63 |
| #4 | HoangUltra | +0.43 | 36 | 63 |
| #5 | asdfsdaf | -0.57 | 28 | 63 |





