










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 93 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2 | 2% |
| Smokes | 25 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 25 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 41 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $86,617 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaPa Superstar | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | adamkou | 31% | 13 |
| #3 | d | 31% | 13 |
| #4 | cvalda | 31% | 26 |
| #5 | Micah Bell | 30% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | cvalda | 31% | 26 |
| #5 | Micah Bell | 30% | 40 |
| #6 | 𝑻𝑰𝑶 | 𝙏𝙞𝙭0𝙭 | 25% | 16 |
| #7 | l | 25% | 20 |
| #8 | Roriseek | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Micah Bell | 13 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | l | 5 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | cvalda | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | 𝑻𝑰𝑶 | 𝙏𝙞𝙭0𝙭 | 2 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | adamkou | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cvalda | 83 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | Micah Bell | 74 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | 𝑻𝑰𝑶 | 𝙏𝙞𝙭0𝙭 | 40 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | l | 30 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | adamkou | 29 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaPa Superstar | +2.07 | 59 | 59 |
| #2 | 𝑻𝑰𝑶 | 𝙏𝙞𝙭0𝙭 | +1.89 | 72 | 63 |
| #3 | Micah Bell | +1.78 | 78 | 58 |
| #4 | d | +1.43 | 63 | 63 |
| #5 | cvalda | +1.28 | 71 | 50 |





