








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 300 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 99 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8005 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,556 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 664 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2132 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2242 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1518 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,352,193 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 532 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gypsy | 58% | 171 |
| #2 | [SFS] iRiSH | 57% | 178 |
| #3 | [SFS] Nology | 54% | 167 |
| #4 | b4wse | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | Nubcake | 54% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | b4wse | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | Nubcake | 54% | 81 |
| #6 | jones | 54% | 39 |
| #7 | Ballz | 54% | 93 |
| #8 | pancake | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pancake | 34 | 0.0512 |
| #2 | Gypsy | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | [SFS] iRiSH | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | [SFS] Nology | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Ballz | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [SFS] Nology | 472 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Ballz | 387 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | b4wse | 257 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #4 | Nubcake | 246 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | [SFS] iRiSH | 184 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pancake | +3.85 | 87 | 33 |
| #2 | Kinglar | +1.24 | 78 | 27 |
| #3 | Gypsy | +1.10 | 81 | 43 |
| #4 | Nubcake | +0.77 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | b4wse | +0.10 | 75 | 75 |





