








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
45 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 0 | 0% |
| Smokes | 57 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 19 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 59 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $45,194 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwagTurtle | 33% | 6 |
| #2 | CrouchSynonym | 33% | 6 |
| #3 | thrilliam | 30% | 10 |
| #4 | cjen | 27% | 11 |
| #5 | niceVIBE | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | CrouchSynonym | 33% | 6 |
| #3 | thrilliam | 30% | 10 |
| #4 | cjen | 27% | 11 |
| #5 | niceVIBE | 25% | 4 |
| #6 | imatv | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cjen | 2 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | thrilliam | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cjen | 47 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #2 | CrouchSynonym | 24 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | niceVIBE | 18 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | SwagTurtle | 16 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | thrilliam | 4 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrouchSynonym | +2.60 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | cjen | +2.57 | 80 | 50 |
| #3 | niceVIBE | +2.54 | 82 | 35 |
| #4 | SwagTurtle | +0.53 | 36 | 43 |
| #5 | thrilliam | -4.22 | 20 | 24 |





