








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 261 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,392 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1157 | 34% |
| Smokes | 829 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 626 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 780 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $291,693 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S K 2.0 | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | slayr | 60% | 85 |
| #3 | Saradiyel | 59% | 44 |
| #4 | S K | 58% | 101 |
| #5 | rivs | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | slayr | 60% | 85 |
| #3 | Saradiyel | 59% | 44 |
| #4 | S K | 58% | 101 |
| #5 | rivs | 50% | 12 |
| #6 | CrazyLankan | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S K | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | S K 2.0 | 3 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | slayr | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | rivs | 2 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | CrazyLankan | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slayr | 265 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | S K | 89 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | Saradiyel | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | CrazyLankan | 34 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | rivs | 20 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slayr | +2.98 | 84 | 57 |
| #2 | Saradiyel | +0.82 | 62 | 54 |
| #3 | S K 2.0 | +0.14 | 77 | 38 |
| #4 | m4 | -0.12 | 63 | 61 |
| #5 | S K | -1.16 | 78 | 43 |





