








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,472 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1041 | 30% |
| Smokes | 922 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 878 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 631 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $336,458 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slayr | 60% | 117 |
| #2 | m4 | 58% | 101 |
| #3 | Saradiyel | 57% | 132 |
| #4 | CrazyLankan | 51% | 108 |
| #5 | ✪ TequilaSunrise<3 | 51% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | m4 | 58% | 101 |
| #3 | Saradiyel | 57% | 132 |
| #4 | CrazyLankan | 51% | 108 |
| #5 | ✪ TequilaSunrise<3 | 51% | 65 |
| #6 | rivs | 48% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rivs | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | m4 | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | CrazyLankan | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | ✪ TequilaSunrise<3 | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | slayr | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrazyLankan | 491 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | slayr | 334 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | m4 | 320 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | rivs | 300 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | ✪ TequilaSunrise<3 | 155 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slayr | +3.07 | 84 | 59 |
| #2 | ✪ TequilaSunrise<3 | +1.50 | 80 | 54 |
| #3 | Saradiyel | +0.83 | 62 | 48 |
| #4 | m4 | -0.06 | 63 | 61 |
| #5 | S K | -0.15 | 80 | 46 |





