








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 446 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,226 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2303 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3198 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2953 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5772 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,563,843 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lekoli | 1636 | 0.15 | 48 min |
| #2 | eVo Pheria dN | 1321 | 0.21 | 29 min |
| #3 | stalker | 765 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #4 | Evil Larry | 470 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #5 | cajunbeef | 256 | 0.21 | 6 min |





