








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 605 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 95 matches | ||
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10243 | 25% |
| Smokes | 11255 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 9145 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 9941 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,685,025 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 673 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cajunbeef | 56% | 96 |
| #2 | rabbi mike | 51% | 87 |
| #3 | Evil Larry | 49% | 152 |
| #4 | bigcons. | 45% | 91 |
| #5 | stalker | 44% | 258 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | bigcons. | 45% | 91 |
| #5 | stalker | 44% | 258 |
| #6 | eVo Pheria dN | 43% | 385 |
| #7 | NAVI yellow | 41% | 546 |
| #8 | nrvus | 37% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eVo Pheria dN | 30 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | rabbi mike | 18 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | NAVI yellow | 17 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | stalker | 15 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | nrvus | 15 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eVo Pheria dN | 1633 | 0.21 | 36 min |
| #2 | stalker | 900 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #3 | Evil Larry | 528 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #4 | NAVI yellow | 406 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #5 | cajunbeef | 390 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rabbi mike | +6.50 | 75 | 72 |
| #2 | Evil Larry | +3.00 | 74 | 63 |
| #3 | cajunbeef | +2.70 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | stalker | +2.60 | 71 | 73 |
| #5 | bigcons. | +0.33 | 71 | 55 |





