








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3341 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 939 | 34% |
| Smokes | 564 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 690 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 575 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $421,700 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 382 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BobLiftsWeights | 54% | 69 |
| #2 | Phantom | 52% | 58 |
| #3 | Clutch Norris | 50% | 183 |
| #4 | Ozzy | 48% | 60 |
| #5 | Laksman | 48% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Clutch Norris | 50% | 183 |
| #4 | Ozzy | 48% | 60 |
| #5 | Laksman | 48% | 46 |
| #6 | shakalaka ding dong | 38% | 21 |
| #7 | Schmidt | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clutch Norris | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Phantom | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Schmidt | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | BobLiftsWeights | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Laksman | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clutch Norris | 255 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | BobLiftsWeights | 158 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ozzy | 109 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Laksman | 45 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | shakalaka ding dong | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sh4rp Shooter | +5.01 | 87 | 27 |
| #2 | Laksman | -0.59 | 15 | 59 |
| #3 | BobLiftsWeights | -1.24 | 62 | 49 |
| #4 | Phantom | -1.33 | 56 | 34 |
| #5 | Schmidt | -2.21 | 51 | 15 |





