








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,322 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2527 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2551 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3551 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2693 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $376,443 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phantom | 50% | 210 |
| #2 | Clutch Norris | 49% | 68 |
| #3 | Sh4rp Shooter | 48% | 60 |
| #4 | 𝓜 | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | ✪ForGiv3nSin✪ | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phantom | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Sh4rp Shooter | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Clutch Norris | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Mentalbard | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | SPEARWOLF | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clutch Norris | 152 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Phantom | 112 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sh4rp Shooter | 109 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | 𝓜 | 82 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | SPEARWOLF | 56 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sh4rp Shooter | +6.66 | 90 | 30 |
| #2 | SPEARWOLF | +1.78 | 47 | 59 |
| #3 | Phantom | +0.75 | 59 | 39 |
| #4 | ✪ForGiv3nSin✪ | +0.27 | 36 | 50 |
| #5 | Ozzy | -1.03 | 32 | 61 |





