








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,646 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 618 | 23% |
| Smokes | 607 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 698 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 723 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,049 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swayzao-RSF | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | TAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | jimmy butler | 45% | 44 |
| #4 | ✪ Big Fucking Lenny | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swayzao-RSF | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | TAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | jimmy butler | 45% | 44 |
| #4 | ✪ Big Fucking Lenny | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Big Fucking Lenny | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | swayzao-RSF | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jimmy butler | 108 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | ✪ Big Fucking Lenny | 85 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | swayzao-RSF | 30 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | TAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU | 21 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swayzao-RSF | +5.89 | 80 | 68 |
| #2 | Heff | +0.80 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | jimmy butler | -0.43 | 64 | 66 |
| #4 | ✪ Big Fucking Lenny | -1.08 | 57 | 67 |
| #5 | TAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU | -2.59 | 56 | 60 |





