










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1853 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2666 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2214 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1388 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1463 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $727,544 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | quackboi | 48% | 117 |
| #3 | 60Hz | 47% | 133 |
| #4 | claude | 43% | 65 |
| #5 | Tay Bé Bằng Mắt Muỗi | 43% | 103 |
| #6 | ngodichat | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quackboi | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ngodichat | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | 60Hz | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Tay Bé Bằng Mắt Muỗi | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | claude | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 60Hz | 685 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | Tay Bé Bằng Mắt Muỗi | 586 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #3 | quackboi | 484 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #4 | ngodichat | 131 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | claude | 106 | 0.08 | 3 min |





