








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 139 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 959 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1050 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1579 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 759 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $524,000 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HAMKA | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | 🦗-LuP-Ed-🍉 | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | ORO XIII | 51% | 139 |
| #4 | MABON | 51% | 141 |
| #5 | PAPAKCIK | 51% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ORO XIII | 13 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | MABON | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | PAPAKCIK | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | 🦗-LuP-Ed-🍉 | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | SohJiWiii | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PAPAKCIK | 515 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | ORO XIII | 360 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | SohJiWiii | 305 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | 🦗-LuP-Ed-🍉 | 256 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #5 | MABON | 191 | 0.06 | 4 min |





