








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 762 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 191 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,445 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1116 | 25% |
| Smokes | 857 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1081 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1391 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,274,244 of utility $278 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoon | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | ✠♆ Blix_2k ♆✠ | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | StyxD | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | sKipz | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | NESS | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Horigrim | 12 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | StyxD | 9 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | LePapouth | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | rQquin | 7 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | ✠♆ Blix_2k ♆✠ | 6 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Horigrim | 461 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | Deherve | 199 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | StyxD | 184 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #4 | LePapouth | 165 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | saiteK | 129 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LePapouth | +6.34 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | rQquin | +5.18 | 77 | 33 |
| #3 | saiteK | +3.78 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | NESS | +2.97 | 75 | 67 |
| #5 | Hoon | +2.86 | 46 | 42 |





