








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
344 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 783 | 33% |
| Smokes | 650 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 422 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 505 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,396 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drunk cal | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | SeriSmok | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | connor | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | JAM | 45% | 44 |
| #5 | AmmoNation | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drunk cal | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | SeriSmok | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | connor | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | JAM | 45% | 44 |
| #5 | AmmoNation | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drunk cal | 5 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | AmmoNation | 4 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | connor | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | JAM | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | connor | 67 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | drunk cal | 64 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | AmmoNation | 43 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | JAM | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | SeriSmok | 35 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drunk cal | +7.95 | 76 | 55 |
| #2 | AmmoNation | +5.33 | 93 | 64 |
| #3 | SeriSmok | +2.58 | 86 | 69 |
| #4 | connor | -1.05 | 63 | 42 |
| #5 | dlcpack | -3.02 | 24 | 52 |





