










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,778 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 217 | 6% |
| Smokes | 1118 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1621 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 822 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,677,111 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 857 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUKI-CHAN | 53% | 78 |
| #2 | LtCol Stephen"Godfather"Ferrando | 52% | 58 |
| #3 | rice | 45% | 101 |
| #4 | シュロンプ | 43% | 46 |
| #5 | Bobby Three | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | buhn | 40% | 84 |
| #7 | 👽 Kuro 🛸 | 40% | 35 |
| #8 | ken | 39% | 87 |
| #9 | Dank Trill | 26% | 61 |
| #10 | mel ˚。⋆ | 22% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LtCol Stephen"Godfather"Ferrando | 20 | 0.0180 |
| #2 | ken | 14 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | SUKI-CHAN | 14 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | Dank Trill | 9 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | buhn | 8 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buhn | 138 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | rice | 100 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | LtCol Stephen"Godfather"Ferrando | 100 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dank Trill | 97 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | mel ˚。⋆ | 64 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUKI-CHAN | +4.18 | 77 | 26 |
| #2 | Bobby Three | +3.66 | 49 | 26 |
| #3 | LtCol Stephen"Godfather"Ferrando | +3.03 | 33 | 42 |
| #4 | ken | +2.25 | 53 | 4 |
| #5 | mel ˚。⋆ | +1.72 | 34 | 49 |





