








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 360 | 29% |
| Smokes | 117 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 483 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 271 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $206,538 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | тωєєzу | 44% | 9 |
| #10 | ado | 43% | 7 |
| #11 | Deniise💜 | 43% | 21 |
| #12 | Xplain | 42% | 26 |
| #13 | iShine | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flying Uwe | +4.38 | 88 | 45 |
| #2 | ☻נєѕυѕ Ŀ♥νєs тнє αк47☻ | +3.66 | 78 | 38 |
| #3 | Marsupilami | +1.90 | 76 | 17 |
| #4 | тωєєzу | -0.32 | 64 | 57 |
| #5 | i like to drink vodka | -0.40 | 72 | 28 |





