








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
338 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 209 | 28% |
| Smokes | 65 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 254 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 228 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $160,896 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Estonian | 45% | 31 |
| #6 | chaos | 41% | 37 |
| #7 | Trompetimees | 37% | 30 |
| #8 | monk | 35% | 17 |
| #9 | Oversider | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trompetimees | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | NegevPoiss8 | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | chaos | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Estonian | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | monk | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NegevPoiss8 | +2.33 | 64 | 53 |
| #2 | monk | +2.21 | 62 | 39 |
| #3 | Estonian | +0.84 | 40 | 39 |
| #4 | chaos | +0.71 | 34 | 48 |
| #5 | Oversider | +0.29 | 67 | 32 |





