








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,314 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 398 | 30% |
| Smokes | 107 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 461 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 348 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $434,361 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chaos | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | NegevPoiss8 | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Trompetimees | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | MiniHarambi | 2 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | JUMADIBA | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chaos | 136 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | NegevPoiss8 | 58 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | MiniHarambi | 43 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | JUMADIBA | 27 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | monk | 22 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monk | +2.49 | 58 | 51 |
| #2 | NegevPoiss8 | +1.40 | 63 | 42 |
| #3 | Estonian | +0.84 | 42 | 42 |
| #4 | chaos | +0.23 | 33 | 50 |
| #5 | MiniHarambi | -0.63 | 42 | 39 |





