








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 686 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1836 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 689 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1100 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,618,645 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dbol | 50% | 196 |
| #2 | neutront | 41% | 141 |
| #3 | thomdock | 41% | 107 |
| #4 | Verdoya | 39% | 187 |
| #5 | Spögö | 26% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dbol | 36 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Spögö | 17 | 0.0169 |
| #3 | thomdock | 13 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | Verdoya | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Moe Lester | 10 | 0.0179 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dbol | 210 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | Spögö | 74 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | neutront | 45 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Moe Lester | 31 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Verdoya | 21 | 0.01 | 0 min |





