








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
915 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 170 | 21% |
| Smokes | 204 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 200 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 245 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $87,620 of utility $26 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vexing | 41% | 141 |
| #2 | thomdock | 40% | 42 |
| #3 | dbol | 35% | 43 |
| #4 | Verdoya | 27% | 45 |
| #5 | Moe Lester | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vexing | 41% | 141 |
| #2 | thomdock | 40% | 42 |
| #3 | dbol | 35% | 43 |
| #4 | Verdoya | 27% | 45 |
| #5 | Moe Lester | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vexing | 29 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | dbol | 13 | 0.0147 |
| #3 | Moe Lester | 7 | 0.0193 |
| #4 | Verdoya | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | thomdock | 4 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vexing | 105 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | dbol | 64 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Moe Lester | 21 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | Verdoya | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | thomdock | 3 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dbol | +6.60 | 84 | 35 |
| #2 | Vexing | +2.93 | 65 | 23 |
| #3 | thomdock | +0.40 | 54 | 25 |
| #4 | Verdoya | -0.38 | 39 | 9 |
| #5 | Moe Lester | -2.41 | 48 | 23 |





