








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 454 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5033 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3382 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3957 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5001 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5757 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,278,811 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | messE | 57% | 145 |
| #2 | selena bromez | 55% | 170 |
| #3 | not yall | 50% | 110 |
| #4 | rumelius | 49% | 117 |
| #5 | suicidE | 48% | 527 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | messE | 57% | 145 |
| #2 | selena bromez | 55% | 170 |
| #3 | not yall | 50% | 110 |
| #4 | rumelius | 49% | 117 |
| #5 | suicidE | 48% | 527 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | messE | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | not yall | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | suicidE | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | selena bromez | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | rumelius | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | messE | 466 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | selena bromez | 450 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | not yall | 287 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | suicidE | 243 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #5 | rumelius | 116 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | messE | +2.29 | 62 | 63 |
| #2 | selena bromez | +2.24 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | snices | +2.23 | 74 | 60 |
| #4 | not yall | +0.54 | 75 | 66 |
| #5 | rumelius | -2.47 | 67 | 64 |





