








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,353 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 461 | 34% |
| Smokes | 304 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 257 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 331 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $350,648 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deity | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | dyl | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | bonk | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | MeatMeat1x | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Razr | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Razr | 43% | 7 |
| #6 | Sarahmaisbrebis 🥐 | 42% | 12 |
| #7 | Saken | 25% | 8 |
| #8 | SpleefSam | 20% | 5 |
| #9 | PK Freeze | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bonk | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Sarahmaisbrebis 🥐 | 3 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | MeatMeat1x | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | dyl | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Razr | 1 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dyl | 74 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | bonk | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Deity | 38 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | MeatMeat1x | 21 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sarahmaisbrebis 🥐 | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bonk | +3.81 | 67 | 67 |
| #2 | dyl | +1.53 | 72 | 79 |
| #3 | Saken | +1.39 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | Deity | +1.05 | 52 | 71 |
| #5 | adk474 | +0.21 | 43 | 40 |





