








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1013 | 32% |
| Smokes | 624 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 890 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 637 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $198,724 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Razr | 60% | 15 |
| #8 | MeatMeat1x | 56% | 25 |
| #9 | waller | 50% | 4 |
| #10 | PK Freeze | 40% | 5 |
| #11 | Dayz | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bonk | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | MeatMeat1x | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | adk474 | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Deity | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Razr | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bonk | 51 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | adk474 | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Deity | 42 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Synnicall | 29 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | MeatMeat1x | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Synnicall | +4.53 | 94 | 66 |
| #2 | Spence | +4.43 | 73 | 74 |
| #3 | bonk | +2.62 | 66 | 68 |
| #4 | dyl | +0.84 | 73 | 74 |
| #5 | Deity | +0.56 | 53 | 68 |





