










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 429 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 909 | 34% |
| Smokes | 287 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 919 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 574 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $760,490 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2274 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FishyBoi | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Twinky ⋆˙⟡♡ | 52% | 54 |
| #3 | KFC's $5 Fill Up, Only $5.49! | 39% | 44 |
| #4 | Turbo_Death | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FishyBoi | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Twinky ⋆˙⟡♡ | 52% | 54 |
| #3 | KFC's $5 Fill Up, Only $5.49! | 39% | 44 |
| #4 | Turbo_Death | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KFC's $5 Fill Up, Only $5.49! | 27 | 0.0315 |
| #2 | Twinky ⋆˙⟡♡ | 23 | 0.0212 |
| #3 | Turbo_Death | 21 | 0.0466 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twinky ⋆˙⟡♡ | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | FishyBoi | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Turbo_Death | 26 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | KFC's $5 Fill Up, Only $5.49! | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FishyBoi | +7.10 | 73 | 54 |
| #2 | Chain smoker of 53 cigarettes | +1.49 | 66 | 29 |
| #3 | Twinky ⋆˙⟡♡ | +0.39 | 42 | 41 |
| #4 | Turbo_Death | +0.25 | 72 | 39 |
| #5 | KFC's $5 Fill Up, Only $5.49! | -1.69 | 14 | 13 |





