








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2384 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2119 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2350 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3267 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $412,062 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1864 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twinky ⋆˙⟡♡ | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | Chain smoker of 53 cigarettes | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | R1deR | 62% | 92 |
| #4 | KFC's $5 Fill Up, Only $5.49! | 60% | 55 |
| #5 | WaviestBow5 | 47% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KFC's $5 Fill Up, Only $5.49! | 48 | 0.0458 |
| #2 | Chain smoker of 53 cigarettes | 5 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | Twinky ⋆˙⟡♡ | 5 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | R1deR | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | WaviestBow5 | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FishyBoi | +3.56 | 69 | 49 |
| #2 | Chain smoker of 53 cigarettes | +1.42 | 47 | 28 |
| #3 | R1deR | +0.38 | 53 | 24 |
| #4 | Twinky ⋆˙⟡♡ | +0.31 | 52 | 46 |
| #5 | KFC's $5 Fill Up, Only $5.49! | -1.35 | 13 | 11 |





